Friday, 19 April 2013
This is part of a thread I started over on Mumsnet. You know, the one with biscuits. And the swearing. Have you been there? You should. It's brilliant. I have laughed more on there than at anything else in my life, ever. Yoni, cutted up pear, the poo troll, fucking class bear, husbands plastic vagina, the cake lady... just some of the threads that have made me ROAR laughing over the last few years. And not just the giggles. The woolly hugs, the support for the bereaved, those suffering from domestic violence, legal advice. All human life is there. Easting biscuits.I digress.I started this thread partly to seek reassurance that maybe other MNers had odd crushes. By the end, I was planning a new career as a writer of erotic political fan fiction.
Don't read on if you're eating. And even if you think you'll cope, I want to apologise in advance for making you read this.
This afternoon, out of nowhere, it occurred to me that, yes, I would do Ed Balls.
I would totally do Ed Balls.
I would totally do Ed Balls, and I bet it would be great.
I'm off now, to pour bleach into my ears and shake my head vigorously. Sorry.
At this point, a lot of other MNers were fairly horrified by my honesty. I felt the need to respond.
I wouldn't necessarily want to live with him. But I would totally do him. He has twinkly eyes. Can't beat a twinkle. It makes me think he would be filth. He would wear dark jersey boxer shorts. And probably be a bit grunty/sweaty in a manly type way.
A few people grudgingly admitted they would do Ed Balls too. And one or two other politicians. I mused on their choices.
See I think Boris would be quite amusing, but I bet he'd be very thrusty and come in about thirty seconds. I wouldn't do him.
And then this got posted:
Hassled Sun 14-Apr-13 20:23:54